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- see a therapist,
- practice some outdoor activities,
- since you have a job, you may have the money to subscribe to a gym, or an association to do some sports like martial arts or boxing.
Support Come and load off your mental struggles
- Thread starter freshVeggie
- Start date
Thanks... I appreciate you.
I don't have enough posts to view this, which is making me laugh for some reason
but thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. It means a lot.
I'm sorry! Here it is again, I thought you were a member and I try to avoid the possibilities of lurkers seeing posts like these too easily.Thanks... I appreciate you.
I don't have enough posts to view this, which is making me laugh for some reason
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Just wanted to say that I appreciate all of you.
Yeah, there are plenty of incredible people both here in Meta and irl that offer support, but there's this sense of being a burden that everyone is better off without, and sometimes I can't quite shake off this feeling. I guess I'll have to overcome that.
Thanks again for your kind words
Yeah, I'll do that. Hope they also manage to be healthy and happy
I hope things get better for you
Yeah, there are plenty of incredible people both here in Meta and irl that offer support, but there's this sense of being a burden that everyone is better off without, and sometimes I can't quite shake off this feeling. I guess I'll have to overcome that.Thanks again for your kind words
Thanks for your support
Yeah, I'll do that. Hope they also manage to be healthy and happy
Oh no, I should have worded my post a little better! I apologize if it came across as trying to shift focus to my personal struggles with depression. Though I do really appreciate the well wishes, thank you! Things have been better for me lately.Just wanted to thank all of you for your support and kind words. I appreciate you.
I hope things get better for you
Thanks again for your kind words
Thanks for your support
I totally understand that feeling of being a burden. That's where my mind usually goes too and gets stuck there for a while. It's one of the more difficult thoughts to overcome but I got a good piece of advice from a good friend that helped me a lot. If folks thought you were a burden or didn't want you around they wouldn't want to spend time with you in the first place or would have left a long time ago.
Trust your friends and family. They clearly want you around, they aren't just tolerating or humoring you. Don't be afraid to rely on them when you're feeling down or not quite yourself. It's what true friends and family are for after all, to help pick those up that they care about.
Like take me for example, while you and I have only chatted a few times on Meta and usually just this thread, I don't see you as a burden at all. I see you as someone who might be struggling with certain feelings or thoughts in that moment that could use some cheering up. And while I can't speak for everyone in this thread I know that it's something I don't mind doing at all.
Your post didn't come across that at all, no apology neededOh no, I should have worded my post a little better! I apologize if it came across as trying to shift focus to my personal struggles with depression. Though I do really appreciate the well wishes, thank you! Things have been better for me lately.
I totally understand that feeling of being a burden. That's where my mind usually goes too and gets stuck there for a while. It's one of the more difficult thoughts to overcome but I got a good piece of advice from a good friend that helped me a lot. If folks thought you were a burden or didn't want you around they wouldn't want to spend time with you in the first place or would have left a long time ago.
Trust your friends and family. They clearly want you around, they aren't just tolerating or humoring you. Don't be afraid to rely on them when you're feeling down or not quite yourself. It's what true friends and family are for after all, to help pick those up that they care about.
Like take me for example, while you and I have only chatted a few times on Meta and usually just this thread, I don't see you as a burden at all. I see you as someone who might be struggling with certain feelings or thoughts in that moment that could use some cheering up. And while I can't speak for everyone in this thread I know that it's something I don't mind doing at all.
You've helped me several times in this thread, and I just wanted to wish you success and happiness in your personal struggles That's a really really good advice. I'll try to keep that in mind.
And I should get a little more active in other threads
Thanks lash! I had no second thoughts about hitting that hug reaction, your support always means a lot and I knew it would be heartfelt.
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lashman Right there with you. Nothing has made me feels as worthless as not being able to afford normal things that it seems everyone can afford. As it was a personal failing. But we have to remember poverty isn't shameful and it doesn't tie into the worth of a person. You should judge that by how valued you are by everyone here!
I would go one further and say that society wields shame in entirely inappropriate and brutal ways. You have nothing to be ashamed about lash.
Is anyone else really NOT looking forward to christmas this year?
I already know my mental health is gonna hit rock bottom this time around,
Standards are already low for me this time of the year, but this year i won't have any private christmas celebrations (as usual), no work related celebrations because of COVID, no wintermarkets to chill out in the masses with some mulled wine either AND for me personally, i have this particular struggle that i really tried to find some people to celebrate this year with, and didn't manage to.
I'm gonna drink a lot of alc, that's for sure.
I already know my mental health is gonna hit rock bottom this time around,
Standards are already low for me this time of the year, but this year i won't have any private christmas celebrations (as usual), no work related celebrations because of COVID, no wintermarkets to chill out in the masses with some mulled wine either AND for me personally, i have this particular struggle that i really tried to find some people to celebrate this year with, and didn't manage to.
I'm gonna drink a lot of alc, that's for sure.
I've been alone on Christmas like for a decade so at this point I don't really celebrate it, it's just another day. But I do try to eat chocolate and try to make dinner that's little nicer than I usually do. And yeah say my happy Christmases here on MC.;D
I believe that's the plan here too. Don't indulge in Alcohol much normally, but christmas is a time I tend to drown given the trainwreck of a family life I have.
For some reason I like spending Holidays alone, and my birthday. But I empathize with you. I hope you can find some comfort with the things you have within your grasp
Haha speaking of spending the holidays with you guys, found this old pic from New Years Eve 2014!
All I want is to find someone and start a family. And that has been hard because being poor doesn't really instill confidence in potential partners.
But not only that, I did a sperm test to see if something was up and doesn't look good, even if everything would go my way to actually have kids would be hard.
So yeah feels like all the things and everything I wanted in life was never for me. What I have left I can't even enjoy. Here I was thinking that depression was something I was getting out of but if seems it's the only thing I will have.
But not only that, I did a sperm test to see if something was up and doesn't look good, even if everything would go my way to actually have kids would be hard.
So yeah feels like all the things and everything I wanted in life was never for me. What I have left I can't even enjoy. Here I was thinking that depression was something I was getting out of but if seems it's the only thing I will have.
In the current situation with the pandemic going on it may be a bit more difficult to meet people, but once this thing ends try to look into hobbies and you may find people.
Iirc you're living in France right? Don't now if you have friends there but maybe they know someone and may introduce them to you. This is how I met my SO, we were introduced by mutual friends and it just started as a friendship.
About kids there's the option to adopt, it was something that we considered if we were unable to have kids.
We all have our expectations and dreams and as someone who also had dealt with depression I know that feel of when things don't happens the way we expected but don't give up.
Yeah I live in Paris and pretty much all my socialising has been either hanging out here in MC or on dates. I realise I should be making friends!In the current situation with the pandemic going on it may be a bit more difficult to meet people, but once this thing ends try to look into hobbies and you may find people.
Iirc you're living in France right? Don't now if you have friends there but maybe they know someone and may introduce them to you. This is how I met my SO, we were introduced by mutual friends and it just started as a friendship.
About kids there's the option to adopt, it was something that we considered if we were unable to have kids.
We all have our expectations and dreams and as someone who also had dealt with depression I know that feel of when things don't happens the way we expected but don't give up.
I think my biggest problem is that I'm already 41 and my life is a mess. Sure I'm working on it but where I am at this point if I want to have a family I should have been twenty years ago if that makes sense? I have to just wing it going forward and hope for the best. Building for a family was the only guiding light I had but since that is so unsure now I don't know what to do. All my dating has been about building a family since no one I've met are interesting in something without that aspect, how the hell can I date when it's not even sure I can give them children?
The bold part makes total sense but try to not put much pressure on yourself. My youngest brother was conceived when my parents were 47 and 42. About the sperm test, is there any treatment for it?
I haven't seen a doctor but I don't it's totally hopeless. As for treatment, don't think so, other than getting in shape and eating much better. But I can barely afford one banana and one canned vegetables per day and they recommend five fruits and lots of fresh vegetables haha!
You will manage to pass through it and we will be hear when you find the need to vent.
What a weird week. Three exes have contacted me. One did pretty much an interview with me to just know what was up, to check how far along I was to being successful. She said she would return when I was haha.
One stayed[UWSL] over one night at my place before she went to spend lockdown with some other guy.[/UWSL]
[UWSL]And now one that talks about leaving her boyfriend to be with me. I think she only wants to know I would take her. She calls me like once every two months to fantasise about us [/UWSL]
[UWSL]All three at the same time make me feel kind of shitty to be honest.[/UWSL]
One stayed[UWSL] over one night at my place before she went to spend lockdown with some other guy.[/UWSL]
[UWSL]And now one that talks about leaving her boyfriend to be with me. I think she only wants to know I would take her. She calls me like once every two months to fantasise about us [/UWSL]
[UWSL]All three at the same time make me feel kind of shitty to be honest.[/UWSL]
Perhaps this is mean and hastily judgmental of me to say, but they seem to be exes for good reason. I mean, life means people drift apart anyway but the way they are treating you isn't excessively respectful from my standpoint.
Yeah you are absolutely right. I have told them the issues I have with them and at this point I keep them at a distance. Just caught me off guard all three contacting me at the same time haha.
I maybe need help/support but i've drinked a lot wine tonight so this might go bnad.
I think i am in an "abusive" relatiomn, i really love this boyfriend of mine for like 8 months now but lately we fight a lot. It's not physical abuse or anytihnfg but mental, i alwaus try to explain things my PoV and he just refuses to see it. When i do so it just "turning things around" on him. There is never any solution to our problems unless i bow my head, take the blame, and apologize for always being wrong. I just dunoo if i can anymore.
I'm so heartbroken lately tbh. it's hard to get out of bed. We play FFXIV a lot together, it's actually how we met too, but this whole situation is just making sour on a game i love. I don't want to see him and hurt in my heart. I'm not really sure if i can break it off cleanly with him either.
sorry for bumping this old thread. mabe i jsut needed to vent a bit.
I think i am in an "abusive" relatiomn, i really love this boyfriend of mine for like 8 months now but lately we fight a lot. It's not physical abuse or anytihnfg but mental, i alwaus try to explain things my PoV and he just refuses to see it. When i do so it just "turning things around" on him. There is never any solution to our problems unless i bow my head, take the blame, and apologize for always being wrong. I just dunoo if i can anymore.
I'm so heartbroken lately tbh. it's hard to get out of bed. We play FFXIV a lot together, it's actually how we met too, but this whole situation is just making sour on a game i love. I don't want to see him and hurt in my heart. I'm not really sure if i can break it off cleanly with him either.
sorry for bumping this old thread. mabe i jsut needed to vent a bit.
Let him know you need a break. Probably good thing for both of you.
a break huh. not a terrible idea the more i think about it., The thing whjere this gets complicated is that he's alreadfy married to a lady. Whom i get along with just fine, she's totally cool with it, but i alwaus feel a bit awkward with anyway. I feel like if we take a breka for a bit he might just forget me or something. I dunno. I know i'm the interloper here, i've alwas been 3rd wheel now i think about it. sigh wth did i walk in to some days i wonder.
i can't really help i fell in love him tyhough. he's normally kind and caring we got along so well and he was always so keen to let me open up and listen to me ramble about my styupid shit. I felt like i could be myselg with him,. i stilkl feel like it. but when we fight he's totally different. His programming self takes over and it's all logic and no emotion. I dunno how to cope with it.
i can't really help i fell in love him tyhough. he's normally kind and caring we got along so well and he was always so keen to let me open up and listen to me ramble about my styupid shit. I felt like i could be myselg with him,. i stilkl feel like it. but when we fight he's totally different. His programming self takes over and it's all logic and no emotion. I dunno how to cope with it.
Long time no see my friend. Sorry to hear you haven't been off all too well.
What you are describing here
On it's own that doesn't nessecarily mean that the relationship is abusive, but that it could be.
It all depends on other factors too, like how often does this happen, what you are fighting about etc.
Regarding the idea of a break, if he in any way loves you back he won't forget you over a short break.
If he does, then, as hard to swallow as the pill might be, he never has and at least then you know the truth.
I don't mean to intrude on private matters, but the fact that he's married is rather unusual, is it an open-relationhip kinda deal or more of an "they are technically divorced just not legally" kinda deal?
I totally understand how you are feeling buddy, i would love nothing more than to feel like that around someone, but you shouldn't allow your desire for imtimacy to devalue yourself if worst case scenario this actually is abusive.
You realistically need to consider, in this relationship to another person, how are you feeling most of the time? Joyful? Miserable? Anxious? Do you dread or fear something? And then act accordingly.
A relationship should make you a happier, better person. If it doesn't it's not worth having. But we here so far away from the situation can't judge that.
Anyways, i hope it'll work out for you regardless of what's the case
What you are describing here
This self-victimization is definitely something abusers do a lot, often without even being aware themselfs.
On it's own that doesn't nessecarily mean that the relationship is abusive, but that it could be.
It all depends on other factors too, like how often does this happen, what you are fighting about etc.
Regarding the idea of a break, if he in any way loves you back he won't forget you over a short break.
If he does, then, as hard to swallow as the pill might be, he never has and at least then you know the truth.
I don't mean to intrude on private matters, but the fact that he's married is rather unusual, is it an open-relationhip kinda deal or more of an "they are technically divorced just not legally" kinda deal?
I totally understand how you are feeling buddy, i would love nothing more than to feel like that around someone, but you shouldn't allow your desire for imtimacy to devalue yourself if worst case scenario this actually is abusive.
You realistically need to consider, in this relationship to another person, how are you feeling most of the time? Joyful? Miserable? Anxious? Do you dread or fear something? And then act accordingly.
A relationship should make you a happier, better person. If it doesn't it's not worth having. But we here so far away from the situation can't judge that.
Anyways, i hope it'll work out for you regardless of what's the case
That is awful. It is easier said than done, but I feel like you need to get away from this kind of abusive relationship.
That is also awful. I mean, you feel like some expendable that he might forget if he does not see you for a while. Seriously, you deserve better than that.
You are right, that is abuse. Refusing to accept that you have your own needs, that your side exists too is textbook gaslighting and refusing to acknowledge your own side of the relationship.
I can't say anything more than what others have. Taking a break might be needed, as cruelly easy as it is to say to another
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Since this thread is bumped... I've been heavily drinking again the past... 3 weeks, where it's kinda affecting my life in some way. One of my dogs passed away several weeks ago and I just have trouble coping, you might think this is silly but I don't know why it's so hard either.
I literally dream of my dog every morning and it haunts me because the one way to start every morning is of course waking up realizing the dream is wrong and she's no longer there. My dog was old (she was a 14 year+ old shiba) so she had trouble walking so most of my time was spent taking care of her, carrying her up and down the stairs, and taking her for a small walks every several hours, the few days before she passed when I carry her down she'd sometimes look up and stare at me like she's trying to tell me something but I did literally jack shit other than hug her, and I think about it daily, these are not so good memories of me just trying to get her to keep walking for the sake of her health and I feel like an incredibly cruel person now. My family of course have no problem "thinking of the good times" but I myself think of how shitty we probably were and how much more we could've done.
My entire schedule revolved around her, my work and sleep is revolved around her. I really don't know what I should do because now I no longer have to take care of her and I get a bunch of these "free time" that I don't know what to do with, I just start crying randomly whenever something reminds me of her, or if I just start thinking about it. I don't know if I should just try and stop thinking or try to keep thinking about it to get over it. I keep humming music in my head or just keep watching random shit so I can keep my head occupied at all times because I don't want to think or dream about it whenever I close my eyes.
Whenever I drink I get to think about how I'd start to get my shit together once this is all done but truth is when I'm sober I don't want to do shit and don't want to wake up, I'm lucky I work remotely so I could get away with this shit, but here I go downing another bottle and think it'll be better the next day only to wake up depressed and for the cycle to repeat again.
I literally dream of my dog every morning and it haunts me because the one way to start every morning is of course waking up realizing the dream is wrong and she's no longer there. My dog was old (she was a 14 year+ old shiba) so she had trouble walking so most of my time was spent taking care of her, carrying her up and down the stairs, and taking her for a small walks every several hours, the few days before she passed when I carry her down she'd sometimes look up and stare at me like she's trying to tell me something but I did literally jack shit other than hug her, and I think about it daily, these are not so good memories of me just trying to get her to keep walking for the sake of her health and I feel like an incredibly cruel person now. My family of course have no problem "thinking of the good times" but I myself think of how shitty we probably were and how much more we could've done.
My entire schedule revolved around her, my work and sleep is revolved around her. I really don't know what I should do because now I no longer have to take care of her and I get a bunch of these "free time" that I don't know what to do with, I just start crying randomly whenever something reminds me of her, or if I just start thinking about it. I don't know if I should just try and stop thinking or try to keep thinking about it to get over it. I keep humming music in my head or just keep watching random shit so I can keep my head occupied at all times because I don't want to think or dream about it whenever I close my eyes.
Whenever I drink I get to think about how I'd start to get my shit together once this is all done but truth is when I'm sober I don't want to do shit and don't want to wake up, I'm lucky I work remotely so I could get away with this shit, but here I go downing another bottle and think it'll be better the next day only to wake up depressed and for the cycle to repeat again.