|OT| Rant about work where no one can fire you for it

[Hektor]

I AM LIVID

So recently at work we rolled out a Java update via remote Installation, nothing unusual.
But there is this one guy.

A few days after the update, he wrote me a mail that he gets an update every half an hour and that's distracting him from work.
So i looked into the Matrix42 Error-Log where it says the update couldn't be installed for him because the Internet Explorer was opened.
So i replied to him that he should close the Internet Explorer next time.

*2 days later+

He replies to my reply with the message that it's still happening. He didn't say wether or not he did what i told him to.
So i looked again in the Matrix42 Error-Log.
Same message about the Internet Explorer.
So i told him again to close it.

some days later

The same as above happens. Except the Error-Log mentions Google Chrome this time around. @_@

some more days later aka today

He wrote me an email again.
This time with an aggressive tone.
"The issue that i have already told you about multiple times is still present blablabla"

To that he attached a screenshot of his Desktop showing the update:

Translation:
"The following applications must be closed before the update can be completed.
Please save your work and Close the application

• Internet Explorer

If the applications are not closed until the end of the countdown the Installation will be be canceled and repeated at another time"

And in the same screenshot i can spot this to the bottom-left

I am THIS CLOSE to writing him an angry mail and renaming his user account to DumbfuckMcGee.
This is some fucking engineer with doctorate and 6 figure pay, good Lord.

If i wouldn't know any better i'd believe he is just trying to bullshit me.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[Eferis]

Perfectly understandable until this

This is some fucking engineer with doctorate and 6 figure pay, good Lord.

I mean, that's worrying, not because he cannot understand computers but because he cannot understand a simple plain text sentence.

 

[curi0usBystander]

This is some fucking engineer with doctorate and 6 figure pay, good Lord.

This is irrelevant, this is a reading comprehension issue.

Then again I'm so used to users not reading descriptive error messages that this does not surprise me .

 

[Deku]

There are stupid people for everything. Just deal with it and help this poor fool with his problem. Isn't it easier if you went to him and help him with the issue?

 

[EdwardTivrusky]

In these cases i turn amazingly polite and send an email explaining step-by-step what is required to get the software installed.
Usually they get the message that we're aware of their bullshit and if they try to play politics and escalate the job they'll be the one looking like a child. It's amazing how co-operative people become when you refuse to play their games or give them any ammo to escalate their bullshittery.

 

[Hektor]

There are stupid people for everything. Just deal with it and help this poor fool with his problem. Isn't it easier if you went to him and help him with the issue?

What am I supposed to help him with tho, if he's capable of using his computer for work, sending emails and making screenshots, he's computer savvy enough to close the internet explorer when the prompt or my emails asks him to.

In these cases i turn amazingly polite and send an email explaining step-by-step what is required to get the software installed.
Usually they get the message that we're aware of their bullshit and if they try to play politics and escalate the job they'll be the one looking like a child. It's amazing how co-operative people become when you refuse to play their games or give them any ammo to escalate their bullshittery.

This sounds like a good idea actually.
I'll try this.

 

[Trisolarian]

I've been in your position. It happens. People have blind spots, even intelligent and capable ones. I always think, this person may be good at so and so and it doesn't really mean anything if they're terrible at computers. Also don't assume that someone will know something or have some level of basic computing skills.

I would try either the nice email or if possible just call them and walk them through it.

 

[Anoregon]

I don't have much to add, but the title of this thread immediately made me think of this pic:

 

[EdwardTivrusky]

 

[teezzy]

I work the phones at a customer care center for a major automobile corporation

OP, if you think people are stupid about computers, you wouldn't even believe the drivel I hear in terms of cars...

 

[EdwardTivrusky]

Just while you're here, deftones. On my engine, what is the 710 cap for?

Much as it's tempting to be rude to rude or pushy people i find being polite is the best way even if you're seething inside. At the very least they look like idiots if they try to play politics and escalate to management when your correspondence has been polite and helpful. Or if you have to escalate to your manager and there's nothing on your side of things that can be seen as unprofessional i usually find things get cleared up quickly.

Also, if i keep encountering the same issue i'll look at the documentation we have available and see if it matches reality or can be made clearer.
If i can help someone do better then i have a bit of swagger for the next hour or so. Nerd swagger but i'll take what i can get.

 

[teezzy]

We here at corporate are not technicians, sir. For more technical questions, EdwardTivrusky, I would advise you to take your vehicle to your local dealership as their certified technicians are in the best position to assist you with your vehicle

 

[gabbo]

In these cases i turn amazingly polite and send an email explaining step-by-step what is required to get the software installed.
Usually they get the message that we're aware of their bullshit and if they try to play politics and escalate the job they'll be the one looking like a child. It's amazing how co-operative people become when you refuse to play their games or give them any ammo to escalate their bullshittery.

Baby gloves tend to disarm a lot of the ones who think they've got you, for sure.

 

[EdwardTivrusky]

gabbo ... and if they aren't playing silly-buggers then they have a helpful set of instructions that got them out of a pickle. Win win

 

[gabbo]

gabbo ... and if they aren't playing silly-buggers then they have a helpful set of instructions that got them out of a pickle. Win win

I wish that was something I could rely on. I've had people take notes on my troubleshooting and then not share them with coworkers so they have to call instead or forget the notes and call back again.

 

[Hektor]

Got a follow up to this story that is making me desire a termination of my work contract by the means of forcefully inserting my shoes into this persons mouth

So, i wrote a very babyass but polite step-by-step guide to closing your internet explorer as was suggested in here.
This didn't help.

Then a coworker told me that this guy has been on the waiting list for a laptop (FYI, we give out laptops to people to work remotely from home (Under some conditions of course))

So my coworker bumped him forward on the waiting list so he could receive his latop on last friday instead of about two months from now.

Mistakes were made

So on friday i exchanged his desktop PC for a laptop and showed him in person how he would connect to the office network via VPN.
It's a very simple process because it's a custom built solution, the software opens automatically at boot-up, you just click "connect", insert your windows login credentials and 2FA code and click "connect" again.

Literally every granny at this office can do this. Important later on.

He also asked me if he could receive a screen for home, which i generiously gave to him.
To be clear, official policy is NO SCREENS FOR LAPTOPS.
We give out screens anyways because all tech in this building is replaced every 4 years (incredible waste if you ask me) and those screens all have been disposed of, officially.

I made that very clear to him too.
Didnt stop him from complaining about the screen looking oh so old nor from asking for a second one.
I denied his request and he asked two more times, which i both denied again.
Then on the way up the stairs, ME carrying HIS new screen, he somehow demanded we order two brand new ones anyways, because of course we should. I simply pretended not to hear.

He want up back to his office.

Then he would call me saying all his files are gone.
To which i replied that that's normal and al the data from his old PC will be remotely moved over to his latop within the next hour or two
(You might be asking why we don't just exchange the data in advance, there's a reason for that but i don't wanna delve into the details here).

Then he would call me asking the exact same thing slightly differently worded 3 more times throughout the next hour.
MY EXCELS ARE GONE!
MY PHOTOS ARE GONE!
etc etc

I always gave him the same, polite answer as if i were stuck in an endless loop of suffering.
Eventually he had his files and we lived happily ever after or something.

Except today.
Oh boy today!
OH BOY TODAY IS A DAY!
TO-FUCKING-DAY!

This was the first day where he actually used his laptop to work from home.

I came into the office and noticed a missed phone call of his.
Then i logged into my computer to check my emails first, as i usually do, there i noticed he had also written me an email!

He had two different issues
Issue A) Two screenshots of two different error messages. Roughly saying the same thing "Couldn't connect to network blabla"
On the same screenshot i could also see that he didn't activated his VPN as i instructed him to. Of course he can't connect to our network drives and printing servers IF HE'S NOT FUCKING CONNECTED TO THE NETWORK

Issue B) "The unlocking of his screen doesn't work"

So i politely answered to his email with a step-by-step guide of connecting his VPN as well as asking him what he means with "unlocking his screen".

To that i received no further reply.

BUT THEN
BUT THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

About 5 hours later, all of a fucking sudden an email

To: Hektor
CC: Hektors Coworker A, Hektors Coworker B, That dudes department leader and some higher up who is kinda my boss but not really (It's a government job)

Hello Hektor,

Despite numerous emails in which i carefully explained my issues to you, as well as 12 missed phonecalls, you have failed to take care of them.

I am VERY unsatisfied with this.

In addition to this [SOME RANDO OTHER PROBLEM]

FAZIT: BECAUSE OF THIS I CAN'T WORK!!!! (Annotation: The underline and bold font are authentic and not added by me)

I hope despite your busy work, you will be capable of taking care of my issues as well (Annotation: This reads very sarcastically in german)

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

My Reply:

I replied to your ONE (1) email and gave you instructions on how to solve this issue, same thing as i had explained to you a few days ago.
I also asked you to elaborate on your second issue, which you did not do.

I am sorry if i had happened to miss a phone call of yours, however i only had missed 6 phone calls today, 5 of which i called back, the last one being an anonymous number, if that was you i suggest to disable number supression on your device.
Furthermore, in case i am absent you can also reach COWORKER A under ZXY and COWORKER B under XYZ.

I implore you to write me an email detailing your exact problems as well as to actually reply me in case i happen to have follow-up questions.

We apologize for your inconvenience.

___

Takes me all i have to be this polite despite that 'tude.
I'm REALLY dreading whatever followup of his will be coming tomorrow.
He turned from being stupid to being an incredible asshole in no time WHEW.

All he's doing is ensuring he'll receive the lowest effort, lowest priority service going forward.
And if he writes one more mail like this i'll straight up write a formal complaint about him.

 

[Samson]

I just got a new job working for a mid-sized business, which is part of why I'm feeling well enough to be back on here. But here's some details about work just for fun.

1. Communications:
   • All external communication with clients/customers/partners are done from one email address. This is a business with nearly ten thousand contacts in its CRM database, communicating with everyone from their clients, to their manufacturers, to their shipping apparatus, to their lawyers and accountants from one email account.
   • All internal communications are done on the same damned email account, or on Skype. Using something like Cisco Webex or Slack (or hell even Discord) would just make too much sense right? So now, not only do you have potentially hundreds of emails per day from outside sources pouring into this account, you also have dozens of messages a day from a dozen team-members trying to communicate with each other in this same account.
2. Shipping/Fulfillment:
   • No e-commerce software is utilized. There are hundreds of software/platform options like Shopify that we could be using, but again, nope that would make life too easy. Instead, the checkout process works something like this. The customer checks out on the website, and then we get an email notification (in our ridiculous shared inbox) that tells us what they ordered. So we then have to go input this order into a PDF invoice form document, then we email this invoice back to the customer for their approval, and then when they approve it, we have to get payment details via email (totally secure right) or phone, and then finally the order moves into the line for shipment (head spinning yet?).
   • Finally you're at the shipping process, which is still a pain. Because a normal e-commerce system would automatically generate labels for you based on the information the customer put into the shipping lines of the checkout. Instead, because your system works through a manually generated invoice, you now have to either manually copy and paste, or write in the information that's on the invoice into your shipping provider of choice's website (USPS, UPS, Fed-Ex, whatever). Which you know, wastes our time and introduces a higher chance for human error.
   • Oh and because our business is cheap, we don't have a full complement of new boxes to ship in, and are regularly shipping in used and recycled boxes. I don't mind small businesses, or small-scale individual sellers on something like Etsy or Ebay reusing boxes (recycling cardboard is great and nice!). But if you're a professional business, you should not be shipping items to clients in repurposed Amazon boxes.

Anyways, I'm glad to have a new challenge, but I feel like I'm beating my head against the wall with some of these tech decisions they made.

 

[Panda Pedinte]

Ranting about work? I have so many stories because I worked previously on tech support for end users. Some stories I still like to tell was when that pc manufacturer decided to launch some tablets, my team was assigned to be one of giving tech support for the new devices.

1. Customer call us telling her new and pricey tablet isn't working properly. I asked what exactly happened with the device and she told her toddler was playing with and he threw it on the floor breaking the screen. Obviously it wasn't going to be covered under the warranty because the damage was done by her kid, but she became so mad. "I paid so much for this and you're telling me you aren't going to fix it because my kid threw it on the floor?" "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."

2. Another tablet, this time the lady couldn't inform any kind identifier so I was unable to find it in the CRM. I sent her an e-mail asking for some photos so I could help her. After receiving the images I noticed it was a tablet from other manufacturer and there is no way you could mistake it for the manufacturer I work for. I said to her we don't give support to that brand and she asked me "If manufacturer your work for doesn't provide support who does?" Not gonna lie I had to breath deep, I googled the phone for the tech support of other manufacturer and gave to her.

3. This one the customer was having issues navigating in the internet. After some question I told her it was a problem with the DNS server of her ISP and to call them because such configurations were out of my scope. She said that she already talked to them and there wasn't any problem with her connection and it was her laptop that was fault. I lost my patience and explained to her how to change her DNS and guess what? The internet worked with other DNS, "I said there wasn't any problem with your laptop and it was your ISP fault, guess who was right?" She hung up on me ¯\(ツ)/¯