The past ~6 months have been really hard for me, I've cried like a helpless baby at 3 a.m. in the streets, I've thought about suicide, I've thought about living in complete isolation from m friends, etc. Strangely enough, I've been feeling better since I've stopped taking meds around 3 weeks ago. There's still something that continues to eat me up from the inside though. I have no purpose in life. There is not a single thing (or person, for that matter) that I love and long for. There is nothing in life that I really want to achieve. Sure, I'd like to have lots of money and a loving family when I'm 40, but they're not that important. Wherever I look, people seem to have a purpose., there's something or someone that they crave. There's a friend who's absolutely in love with cars, there's another who wants to be a tour guide, there's another who's fallen in love. Meanwhile, I'm feeling quite lost and I'm only 20. There's nothing for me to crave for, and I have no idea how to find one. I can't really talk with my parents about these sorts of things, and figured since most people here are older than me, maybe I should ask for some advice here. I spend a lot of time doing nothing because I have no idea what I want. Am I even supposed to have a purpose and aim? If so, is there any way I can get close to finding one?
Sorry for the long rant.